Learning Something New

For the last year I have been working at a Home Care company. I will always be grateful for the time I spent there. My reason for leaving is not due to the type of work at all. I didn't mind assisting showers, and helping people in the bathroom. However my interest and what I am working towards in the future is not medical or even close to social work. That is what most home care workers are working towards. I am an art student.

Now I'm fulfilling a stereo type, I work a coffee house. I'm leaving the home care industry. I shouldn't be so nervous about the change but any change is a bit upsetting to your daily life. I've been doing Home Care for a good year and a half. I believe if I ever need to come back, I can. I don't think they would ever turn me away. It is a job I'm good at, it's just not where I want to be. Some of my old clients made it hard to leave. I couldn't muster the gall tell them. I started to understand people who left without saying anything until this moment. If you've been caring for someone so long, you almost feel like your abandoning them when you move on.

I'm planning on leaving in 3 weeks, give my 2 weeks next week as long as this job works out, but I believe it will.

-Parker

Dear man on bus....

Tonight, at 9:30pm when we were on route for the parking lots. You probably saw me and thought I looked cute or pretty, that in deed was what I was going for 8 hours previous. I had run to get on the bus and was happy to have just barely made it. When you got on, I didn't notice anything different about you, honestly in this moment I can't remember anything but race, age range and gender. I was talking with my friend and look over. You decide to hold my gaze and wink....

You did not know that in this time I am terrified of men after dark. You did not know I was already a little stressed from that day. You did not know that I have a past with being an abuse victim.

You did not know that wink felt like a punch to the gut.

Maybe you were just being friendly, but after dark it doesn't feel friendly anymore to a woman, it almost feels like a threat.

Thoughts from a broken human.

Life Update: first house, moving out...

Well, It's been a while, hasn't it.

My life has been progressing like it should, and the first update I would say would be I'm moving. Yes the day has finally come when I am moving out of my parents home. The reason it has taken me 20 years of my life, 2 extra compared to many people, is because I was going to a local community college, debt free. Because of that, my parents, mainly my Mom, suggested that I stay home for that time, and just try to work and save money. So I went to college at this school for about 3 years, and now, I am transferring to a school that suits my major more.

With moving out there are a lot of things you should take into consideration.

1. Deposit+Rent

The deposit is basically to hold your spot, and the rent is for that month, most places also will charge you utilities, on the side, unless they state otherwise. This seems kind of elementary, but I will say that last year, I knew nothing what so ever.

2. Furnished...

I was looking for a place and theses people told me on the listing the place was furnished, now in my head, furnished meant bed would be supplied, and everything would be there, but the furniture would be moved out once a roommate left 3 months later.

3. Timing

I waited, because I couldn't look ahead due to finances. So I began to look 4 months in advanced, but it didn't go to well. It is definitely miraculous that I found a place the way I did. I would never recommend my method ever. So look ahead, otherwise the stress might destroy you.

So I hope this is slightly helpful for you, if your a young high schooler about to make your way in college. moving in. I'll let you guys know how the move goes, and any extra wisdom for the future.

Parker

What We Should Learn From Formal School Dances

1. Everyone is beautiful... We all get ready, girls take maybe hours to get ready for their school dance, and every single girl is different (And guys). But everyone is so different, we shouldn't have an ideal standard on what real beauty is. No one is the same. If we would just realize the beauty in the diversity, and everyones different take on beauty, then we probably wouldn't be doing everything wrong.
2. Taking Time... Back to what I said earlier about taking hours to get ready, you should spend some time on you. You are so important! You matter, and I know you might be in high school, but it feels wonderful to do something for yourself, whether its taking time alone for yourself, or doing your makeup in the morning. I used to get up early, make coffee, breakfast, and just sit there, enjoying a moment for myself. It does help you during your day, it makes you feel a bit more collected.
3. Having Real Fun. Always enjoying you self wherever you are have fun. You may think that I'm crazy, but just know I'm onto something. Yes, we can't be happy all the time, but know you can have fun in a very ridiculous situation. When I get cut off, after a moment to recover from fearing for my life, I find myself busting up, from the ridiculousness of people. 
4. Enjoy your friends. Toxic friendships are frightening, but if you are enjoying your true friends that care about you, then you will feel so alive, and maybe even loved :)
5. It's okay to ask some one out. We ask people out when we are adults, but I find it rare that teenagers go out on actual dates, just spending time with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I am not into dating people I don't know well, I mean: stranger danger.

I hope you take something lovely away from this, whether you're a boy or a girl.

-Parker

School Dance 101

So, why is a junior in college going to a high school Homecoming dance... well, a friend asked me, only 1 year younger then me asked, so I said yes.

But this post is about being a young high schooler, that is 1 to three years younger then me at the moment, where everything is epic and a school dance is one of the coolest things you can go to.

1. Wear what you love, I know so many people that wore their second choice, and they weren't happy about it. Wear something you love whether its that really high glam dress, or that classy outfit that you feel pretty and powerful in. Or if your a guy, wear what makes you feel like Mick Jagger, or what makes you feel like the man in. In other words, you do you. You don't need to put your hair up if you feel uncomfortable doing that.

2. Go with who your comfortable with, if you are asked on a first date and you are at a school dance, that is one of the most stressful things i think I have ever been through. And that was going as "just friends" No matter what, there is going to be a pressure about it, a pressure to like each other and to be close. So going stag, I would say is one of my favorite things I ever did. Yeah, the date was fun, however, there is no pressure between you two when your not a couple.

3. Also if you are going on a 1st date, I would recommend seeing if you can go with a group of friends, it takes some of the edge off, even if they're not your friends, it makes you feel slightly better, not as pressured. Because then its not just the 2 of you.

if there are any hints you'd like to add, go ahead and comment please! even share some stories about you school dances.

-Parker

First day of School...

Well nothing can't be solved with a good cup of coffee.... but the First day of school. Okay so my first day was a week ago. But now the grade school and high school are back in business, in my home town, so lets be honest here. The first day is always the worst.

Freshman or not, you know by now that first days are usually the most annoying day ever. You have to get used to a new sleep schedule after your summer of either early rising or sleeping until 1:00pm. So what better to start your first day back at school, or your first month back at college then to read my exploitation of my first day of Photography class.

I car pooled to College with my best friend, and she got out of class before me, so just take that into consideration. I realized, (And yes guys, Period.) I got my Period, of course, you know first day of a class, have some cramps and bloating on top of the stress of a new schedule. I'm fine, I take care of it, but then I'm sitting in class, and mind you I am barely out of high school at this point, but I get only what I can describe as to being a hot flash, in the middle of my period and Class.

So I am sitting there, in pain and feeling like I'm about pass out, and then the wave of nausea hits, Oh yeah... I get up abruptly, fill my bag, and my dear Professor stops me, Mr. G asks me if I am not planning on taking the class, "No, I uh... I will be back next week, but I really gotta go..." he nods, and says I can do a the in class project at home. 

I bolt from the room, and calmly start walking, but then I go into a sprint for the bathroom which is about 50 yards away. 

No I do not toss my cookies on the Colleges nice, new carpet. I make it to the restroom sink. after I am don't I wonder if I should go back to class, but decide against it. I go downstairs to wait for my best friend to finish her physics class, which is 15 after I puke. So I am no longer nauseous, but I am writhing in pain from cramps, and still feeling super warm. She comes down, and I relay the event to her, I think that was her best first day ever... yeah.

If that is not enough for you, when I was in high school, I almost fainted in civics, a class I actually enjoyed... Yes... that is how my life goes some times.

Have a good first day, I dare you.

-Parker

Unwanted Physical Contact

Something nearly everyone experiences in their life, whether it'd be a hug from some strange person, or just being crammed in a train with a billon other people. However we will be touching on(bad pun)  deliberated contact.

I am not OCD by any means, but I have my moments where physical touch alludes me. Usually it is when it comes from young men, and some women. It also depends upon the day and who.

Two years ago, I was sitting under a tree reading, (yes that is a hobby of mine, I do the stereotypical thing in college that all young women do. I read under trees). And a guy I know sat down next to me. We talked some but then some other guy joined us, and they stared talking about my hair, for some obnoxious reason. and in doing that, the guy I knew reached over and touched my hair, I felt like crumpling and hiding from them.

Another time this happened it was from a guy who is a lot bigger then me, and he's a huggable person, I am not. He always gave me big hugs that I was never wanting to accept because they made me feel super uncomfortable.

One day I even snapped at the poor guy, saying he should work on his people skills because he went in for an unwanted bear hug, I did apologize later, but I still feel bad, but "I don't want your Free Hugs"

Crazy idea, but asking if its okay is perfectly acceptable, then they can say whether its okay or not. Consent is important, especially for physical contact.

-Parker