First day of School...

Well nothing can't be solved with a good cup of coffee.... but the First day of school. Okay so my first day was a week ago. But now the grade school and high school are back in business, in my home town, so lets be honest here. The first day is always the worst.

Freshman or not, you know by now that first days are usually the most annoying day ever. You have to get used to a new sleep schedule after your summer of either early rising or sleeping until 1:00pm. So what better to start your first day back at school, or your first month back at college then to read my exploitation of my first day of Photography class.

I car pooled to College with my best friend, and she got out of class before me, so just take that into consideration. I realized, (And yes guys, Period.) I got my Period, of course, you know first day of a class, have some cramps and bloating on top of the stress of a new schedule. I'm fine, I take care of it, but then I'm sitting in class, and mind you I am barely out of high school at this point, but I get only what I can describe as to being a hot flash, in the middle of my period and Class.

So I am sitting there, in pain and feeling like I'm about pass out, and then the wave of nausea hits, Oh yeah... I get up abruptly, fill my bag, and my dear Professor stops me, Mr. G asks me if I am not planning on taking the class, "No, I uh... I will be back next week, but I really gotta go..." he nods, and says I can do a the in class project at home. 

I bolt from the room, and calmly start walking, but then I go into a sprint for the bathroom which is about 50 yards away. 

No I do not toss my cookies on the Colleges nice, new carpet. I make it to the restroom sink. after I am don't I wonder if I should go back to class, but decide against it. I go downstairs to wait for my best friend to finish her physics class, which is 15 after I puke. So I am no longer nauseous, but I am writhing in pain from cramps, and still feeling super warm. She comes down, and I relay the event to her, I think that was her best first day ever... yeah.

If that is not enough for you, when I was in high school, I almost fainted in civics, a class I actually enjoyed... Yes... that is how my life goes some times.

Have a good first day, I dare you.

-Parker

Unwanted Physical Contact

Something nearly everyone experiences in their life, whether it'd be a hug from some strange person, or just being crammed in a train with a billon other people. However we will be touching on(bad pun)  deliberated contact.

I am not OCD by any means, but I have my moments where physical touch alludes me. Usually it is when it comes from young men, and some women. It also depends upon the day and who.

Two years ago, I was sitting under a tree reading, (yes that is a hobby of mine, I do the stereotypical thing in college that all young women do. I read under trees). And a guy I know sat down next to me. We talked some but then some other guy joined us, and they stared talking about my hair, for some obnoxious reason. and in doing that, the guy I knew reached over and touched my hair, I felt like crumpling and hiding from them.

Another time this happened it was from a guy who is a lot bigger then me, and he's a huggable person, I am not. He always gave me big hugs that I was never wanting to accept because they made me feel super uncomfortable.

One day I even snapped at the poor guy, saying he should work on his people skills because he went in for an unwanted bear hug, I did apologize later, but I still feel bad, but "I don't want your Free Hugs"

Crazy idea, but asking if its okay is perfectly acceptable, then they can say whether its okay or not. Consent is important, especially for physical contact.

-Parker

Playing for People....

Tonight, I played guitar and sang for a small amount of people, and it was a kind of new song, which I will do again for them, on a later date.
Two things blew through my mind, this is where my inner novas and novelist make their appearance.

1. "You need to play a song until your sick of it, because once your good enough at the song to be sick of it, your almost there, you can play it for people, and they might like it, because they haven't hopefully gotten sick of it."

Honestly I wholeheartedly agree with that, because other wise you will feel like your awful when you play a new song. Because I'm still in the honeymoon faze of learning the song I played. and I fell like I could have done so much better if I had learned it sooner, and practiced more, and if I didn't have scar tissue on my bare chord finger's knuckle

So from a guitarist of 5 years, to much practice isn't a thing. Killing a song, do it!


2. Not hearing your guitar, makes such a difference.

The chord my guitar was plugged into was dead, I mean, we should have put it in a canoe shipped it off and shot a flaming arrow at it, it was that dead. Deader than dead.

We didn't know what was wrong at first but then a guy who was helping me, at the end of my set, he said that the back up 2 chord should have been sent out to sea a long time ago... so yeah that was that.

Two things to mess up playing for other people.

Being Asked Out...

That moment when you receive a message like "Hey, I wanted to ask when we first met, but I was wondering if we could go out or something." you as a person have the choice to say "Yes" or "No."

I have only ever been asked out twice, and each time I have said "I'm sorry, but I don't date." Not because I wouldn't want to but because I'd prefer not to date people I'm not close friends with. But every time I've said no, I get this stabbing pain in my gut, like guilt. As if it is a crime to say what I say.

One other time I was nearly asked out, the guy asked for my phone number, he was like the male version of me, he was a writer, and my response to this young man who I was attracted to was "I don't own a phone... Sorry." he almost left his phone there, and if I hadn't said anything I would have had his home number.

Life man, I don't date, and every time I've gotten asked out or the one time they asked for my phone, I say stuff like that. What young adult woman does this? right.

Share if you care to I'd love to hear from you guys.

-Parker

Music fears... Adventure fears... my fears...

I was browsing the world wide web, and even wider range on Youtube. When I ran across a depressing comment, it was on a musician's video and was completely demeaning his musical abilities, and song writing skills. When I watched his video, I was moved. I'm about to go off on many an adventure, which is my thing, but scary if you are do that alone.

I sit there listening to his music and am given this since of excitement, and of possibilities. It didn't give me the courage, but got me more excited to go. 

Then my mind went back to that ugly comment.

What the heck... I don't understand people who will down talk someone else's abilities. Especially when they can do something not everybody in the world can do. Writing and playing music is a skill. And the fact that somebody is going to down talk that persons abilities is horrifying to me. I'm a musicians and song writer. And that is a big fear of mine.

So when I see other people clobber someone over their gift, I want to run away and hide in a cave. People relentless in finding faults, but also, they aren't always looking for faults.

I am brought back to an interesting word given to me by a movie i can't remember. 'Who cares what they think." and the truth is is we all want to be accepted and loved, but it doesn't matter. The only opinion that matters of you, is yours.

And there is a song that deeply moved me, no special effects, just a guy with a ukulele. and somebody thought it was trash. Crazy amazing, right? Write on.

The Video-If you're leaving, you should. 

-Parker

Birthdays...in my family...

I'm not sure if you're family suffers through this but mine goes through Belated Birthday Syndrome. It is an imposable disorder that is apparent around ones birthday. It starts the day of your birthday, when something hasn't been sent on time, or your family is busy. I picked out my gifts so my immediate family got all their stuff in, and it was a pretty good year, friends however help prolong BBS (lol). Honestly, I love it, it's not as overwhelming as everything in one day.

I'm not complaining, because a birth month sounds so much more festive the a birthday or birth week.
let me know if your family ever stay on time, or if they're always late with things.

One Year Older...

I spoke to a complete stranger recently and mentioned that I was turning one year older this week, and they congratulated me as is considered cordial,  but I mentioned that I wasn't excited. I am considered a young adult, but I don't finding it enjoyable, I find it horrifying.

For me, each year reminds me that I haven't completed all I want. And each birthday reminds me I won't be here forever to complete the things that I have been putting off. I'm not afraid of growing old, more I'm afraid grownup and having to be an adult.

Call it peter pan syndrome, but its me having to grow up, and do the mundane things in life such as pay taxes, and spending a weekend clean your house.

Pray for me, I'm a bit down about this.

-Parker